Is my husband being unreasonable or am I?


A few months ago, my husband and I almost broke up because of his irrational behavior. He is very controlling, judgmental and punishing. Things have gotten better lately, but now it's a nightmare again when he gets transferred to another position in the same organization. This attitude has been around for many years when he has stress at work, but at home everything is pear-shaped. Two days ago, I took my daughter for a kidney test and was very worried. She has a history of constipation and urinary tract infections. She then got his first haircut and spent the day at his new school. The scan was great, and I left a message on his phone to let him know. At noon, he came home and I said to him, "Did you pay attention to your daughter?" He replied, "Just say it," I got offended, so I ignored it and left.

 He came home but never asked how the day went, so I asked him what happened to lunch. Furthermore, he said he couldn't talk to me for a second because he was at work and it was unreasonable to expect a reasonable two-minute conversation from him. Now he's really stressed out and lunges at me, screaming, inches from my face. I ran upstairs and the next morning I thought he would apologize, no he said that I deserved his reproach. Now he says I don't support him and I should leave him alone and the only way I can help him is to do what he wants. When I asked what that meant, he said he didn't know. It basically comes down to the same old shit when you get stressed out at work. I'll go back to being a single parent and ignore my smallest needs until he's out. Is it reasonable to leave the family in this state?